Some adaptations we'd rather forget! (Part 2)
, by Quentin
Last week, to took a look back at some... rather interesting game adaptations to film, though not really for the right reasons, be it because some were a cheese overdose, some to kitsch and others just outright bad all around. As you may have noticed from the previous entry, there were a few films missing from the list. When we focus on the director's side of them, we realized such disasters were all by the hand of the same man: German director Uwe Boll. Let's take a trip down memory lane and check how he has contributed to the 7th art.
House of the Dead
Boy, oh boy. This is the first film based on a video game that Uwe Boll took upon himself. It's 2003 and House of the Dead is about to see the light of day, quite a mythical 90's license that mixed horror and rail shooter.
The videogames already had one major flaw, just like the film we'll be talking about. The story is really lacking! How can you adapt a game to film when it has almost no story? And what do we even want from a House of the Dead film?
Well, we know the answer. Not this. The film had to make up for the lack of story with an outstanding direction, some great action and plenty of scares. And really, it didn't. Even if some people really like this, it's just outright bad. An insult to the genre, even. Just take a look at the trailer and you'll see.
Alone in the Dark 1 & 2
Oh, yes, there's even more Uwe Boll goodness. You wanted more? Oh, I know I didn't. After quite the bumpy road with the video game franchise, we still hoped to see a great movie on the game.
But once again, this won't be the case! Coming hot just two years after House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark is an insult to the fans and just overall audience. It drags down the name of the series to the mud, all with a side of shoddy acting and terribad direction. The special effects and atmosphere were cheap, and the second act of the film is a disgrace to gaming.
We don't know how, but there is even a second one! However, in that one Uwe Boll is a producer, not the director.
BloodRayne 1 & 2
Also in 2005, ¡same year as Alone in the Dark, Uwe Boll released BloodRayne. Yes, one thing we can't deny is that the man works fast. He manages to be really productive, seeking maximum profits while... I don't know, really. That's his major redeeming point.
Based on Majesco Entertainment's eponymous video game, this adaptation is one of the man's lesser known works. We were plunged right into a world filled with vampires with a B series budget but without the charms.
But here again, and don't dare ask how, Boll got a second change for a film on the franchise, The quality is as bad as it goes, but in this one, he was the director too, unlike Alone in the Dark 2.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
Uwe Boll isn't afraid to seek new horizons: he was focused on horror for a while, but he decided to venture into the realms of fantasy. He came up with the idea of making a film about Dungeon Siege.
Oh, and he even got some budget for it. The cast in this was pretty stron, with Jason Statham, Burt Reynolds, Ray Liotta and even Ron Perlman. That's gotta mean something, doesn't it?
Sorry... It's a calamity once again. In Fallout style: Nobody liked that.
Postal
You thought it was over, didn't you? Oh, sweet summer child, just strap in for more. Remember how, a few paragraphs back, we mentioned House of the Dead and how difficult it is to adapt a game with such a limited script? Well, I guess our dear friend has a taste for challenge (or just doesn't care about the end product, which he might as well).
He set off to adapt Postal, a license from Running with Scissors that's as irreverent as it is bold. And he goes all out, as bad as he can get, and even slips in a few racist clichés to make this even worse. I don't even know, man...
Far Cry Warrior
Don't worry, we're ending with this one. He then took on an Ubisoft license and adapted Far Cry. But rest assured, his ways don't change, and he goes all in.
It goes as bad as it can possibly be, with actors that seem out straight from college and some special effects that will make you cry ugly tears. You don't believe us? Well, check it out yourself then.
There's no denying that Uwe Boll is a bad director. However, he could have earned a little sympathy if he had given a damn about the medium. But no, our dear Uwe Boll has never hidden the fact that he isn't a fan of videogames and that his choice to adapt them is purely commercial.
Of course, this has angered people all over the world. Be that as it may, and even if he had a negative impact on film making and the gaming industry, the fact remains that he has left his mark.